Monday, February 3, 2014

And then I realized the water was boiling.

It's been so long, I don't know where to start.  
     I don't know how to start.  
          It feels like I've forgotten how to breathe.


It's been one month and one day since I last saw him.



     I keep cycling between betrayal and depression, fear and determination, love and concern.




January shattered me.

    Now I am learning how to put the pieces back together.


I can't say I'm managing it well, 
but I have woven a small safety net of people who are In The Know and they have
offered me every bit of love and support I could hope for.
They bring glue and tape and welding torches and string and
all sorts of other pretty little things to try and bandage
what has happened here. 
To help me put it all back in place.

So...yes, I'm a jagged fucking mess.

But I am loved, all the same.

I just need to keep remembering that.



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